"Done?" Is the way the phone was answered. No greeting. "Done." My answer. The phone was then hung up on both sides. No more. No good-byes, tears, congratulations or sign-offs. It may seem cryptic, almost coded as if two spies had completed a scheme. It was not really all that supernatural. I am an identical twin. My brother and I expected that this event was going to happen, so when it did, all that was necessary was confirmation. Chit chat could be had at another time and he knew that there would be other calls to be made. Besides, in the office pool, he had just lost money. At least he hadn't made money on the dead pool. All of the money in the office was centered upon whether my girlfriend at the time would ask me to marry her on this trip to Sedona, Arizona and which day of the trip it would be. The dead pool was that she would not ask. Two years. I had waited two years, (actually a little more than two years, but that was twenty years ago and in this story it is better to round down rather than up). I was in the traditional “girl” role of waiting to be asked. I want to declare up front that being the girl in a story about getting engaged just stinks. I knew I wanted to marry Jen within six months of our first date, probably less. She is then, and now more so, AMAZING! But…we had a deal. See, I had been engaged twice before. The first one ended poorly. Think broken furniture, swearing, threats, and that wasn’t even my side. The second one ended with a fantastic son. It also ended with a 50/50 agreement. She would take all of the assets and I would take all of the debt. That was over 22 years ago and my ex-wife and I are all good now. We aren't, "Hey, let's all go on vacation together!" good, but we really are good and like each other. Sharing a fantastic son and moments of good history will do that. I digress. Jen, knowing of my past failures at engagements said, "I bet you would rather wait and be asked to be engaged." I thought that was a great idea. It ended up being a horrible idea. I became the pining, wondering, whining member of our relationship. I was ever-curious - "Where is this relationship going? Are we going to be together forever, or is this a 'just for now' convenience?" If you are a guy, you cannot talk to other guy friends about this. They have helpful answers like; "Who cares?", or "It'll happen whenever it happens," or my favorite, "If she moves on, don't worry about it, there are plenty of others out there." This was the girl of my dreams. We had two years into this relationship. We lived together and were integrated into each other’s lives. My son was fully integrated into this relationship. Clock was ticking. It just sucks being the girl in a traditional engagement clock I have decided. Getting to the engagement, I would like to walk you through the mind of someone hoping to have the question asked and why there were two gambling pools going at my office regarding the engagement. My office knew, of course, that Jen and I lived together. They knew that Zach, my son from my previous marriage and Jen, had a great relationship. and everyone thought that she was perfect. They all wanted to know when I was going to ask her. I had to explain the whole, "She's going to ask me," thing. They thought that was stupid. I knew my girlfriend/now wife. You do not push, you wait. It was nearly my birthday and Jen had planned a short weekend vacation for us to a destination unknown. The pool started in the office. What of the three days, what time of day would the ask be. A grid was made and money was placed. Then there came the YES/NO bets. I was not included in any of this, in fact, I only heard whispers about it. I ignored them. The day we left, we drove to the airport. I knew the destination of the first flight, but Jen gave me a blank puzzle frame and the first piece to put in it. She had colored the pieces so that by the time we reached our first destination, Denver, I would have all of the pieces and know we were going to Sedona, Arizona. I love Sedona. We landed, grabbed our bags and rental car. We drove to Sedona, talking and listening to music like two people who are in love do. In the back of my mind, I was thinking, "Maybe, she has a special place we will turn off on the way up so she can ask me, then we can enjoy the whole weekend as an engaged couple." Nope. That's Ok. I'm mean, seriously, how romantic or even practical would a rest-stop be for a marriage proposal? We drove through Sedona to a beautiful bed and breakfast to stay in. The enormous windows looked out on the red-rock formations, protected as a part of a national wildlife preserve that was behind the house. We could walk out the back door and hike from where we were staying to several of the bases of these and look back into the valley at sunset. Perfect. The living room of the B&B had put out some wine, cheese and prickly pear jam because it was late in the afternoon. Nature preserve for a perfect setting? Our perfect room? Nope. No ask from Jen. That's Ok. Sedona had so many great places. This was back before it had become as commercialized as it is now. It now has all of the spiritual connection as you might find at the Vatican and the artistic ambience of the San Francisco piers. Then, for Sedona, those corruptions had not quite taken over yet. Again, I digress. We went out to dinner at a very special restaurant. It was outdoors, with the stars above and music playing in a very new-age but unobtrusive way. Quaint, large white bulb strings hung overhead throughout this outside space adding to the romantic setting. In the corner of the space we were sitting, only a table away, from a roaring outside fire that kept the evening chill away. We had a four course gourmet meal, we commented on the stars, music, beauty and fire- BUT NOT A FRIGGING RING. We went to bed early because we were going to go on a balloon ride very early the next morning through the canyons. The balloon ride did not disappoint. The sun rose just as we took off. There were 8 other people in the balloon, which was a little tight. The balloon guide would drop the balloon very low into the canyons and then raise us over the walls and let the breeze take us to the next part of the trip. Casually, I checked her clothes to see if there was something that might hold a box, say about 2 inches by 2 inches. Although there wasn’t, a proposal from a woman to man might just mean a little gold ring itself, without the traditional box opening. No need to concern myself. Back to the balloon. The tour went on for an hour and a half. When we landed the balloon, they served a breakfast of cheese, various meats, orange juice and champagne. I kept walking Jen towards the end of the balloons, away from everyone else in order that she might have a chance to pop the question. Nothin'. We drove back to the B&B. The sign that I am getting angry is when I get quieter and speak slower. It was coming on. That afternoon we took a Pink Jeep trip through the hills and ravines of the Sedona natural preserve. At one point, the group gets out of the jeeps and walks through the brush and trails with the chance to see the carvings of the original people who lived there. The carvings are hundreds, possibly thousands of years old. They represented the growth of a person, a family and even the connection of the spirit to all things that were held sacred. Stories were told by the guide that reflected the beliefs of the indigenous people. I held Jen back just a bit…just to see if the power and history of this place would be motivating. Nada During our trip, I remember being at what is known as an area of energy. It is considered a place of spiritual power called a Vortex by new age mystics and shaman going back centuries. Vortexes are thought to embody the power of the earth and are sacred, giving the spirit and people, grounded energy. We sat in a circle at the plateau of one of these areas. Our guides invited anyone who had something to share or had something on our hearts to present it at that time. Several people did. Not Jen. I guess it was not the right time. The next day, we go shopping and I have passed quiet and slow. I am on to silent and seething. At some point, Jen asks me, "You seem upset, what's going on?" It's time to communicate in a very complete way. "We have been together for two years. You are with Zach and me. I thought you were going to ask me to marry you on this trip but it is clear you are not. This life is just a big game of pretend for you. If you were going to ask, you had about a thousand chances and you haven't, so I don't know where we go from here!" This was in a quaint art shopping mall. Jen's response was, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make to you mad. I thought this was going to be a great birthday trip." Let's just drive up to Flagstaff before we go." You have to be effing kidding me! Fine, we will drive up to Flagstaff! I made her drive, because I was in no condition to drive. I was so mad. We started driving to Flagstaff. About half way there, Jen says, "Oh, I want to take a picture from here!" My wife takes pictures of cloud formations, flowers, insects, food. She tells me she wants me to come with her. We go up on a rock 15 yards up from the car, looking over the valley, and she proposes. She had the ring and a card as well as a pewter ring holder that I have to this day. It was very romantic. I had to ask her, "Why now?" Her answer was, "Well, the other times just didn't seem right." WHAT!?! <SIGH> In this relationship, she's the guy and I'm the girl so why should I be surprised. She did say a wise thing, "I'm glad I brought the card, otherwise you might not have believed I was going to really ask." Fifty other chances and a rock on the side of the road? I have to tell you, I was thrilled. I have told this story more than a few times, but the best part of the story is that we are married. Oh well, we are married for twenty years now. I adore her, but the romance job is mine.