Stonehenge for midgets. That's what I thought I was seeing along the trail across the Grand Canyon. For some reason, I had agreed to join some friends in crossing the Grand Canyon, rim to rim, in a day. The mini-Stonehenge rock stacks were what hikers make along the way to indicate that nearby on the trail, there are rattle snakes. (What size of rattle snakes were the ancient druids warning people about in the middle of nowhere, Britain, when they built Stonehenge I wonder?) Rim to rim is about 19 miles on the trail, 1 mile vertical change in altitude, 100 degrees hot at the lowest point, near the river and there is no breeze. It is recommended that you carry in and drink one gallon of water for each person. I have a picture of this group standing next to a four foot by four foot sign that specifically says, "DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FOLLOW THIS PATH TO THE OTHER SIDE IN ONE DAY." We took the picture because that was exactly what we were going to do. The one thing that they had written a huge sign not to do. There were lots of other little signs describing wildlife and bushes. There were warnings about littering, feeding bears and being nice to other hikers. None of those signs was four feet by four feet. Someone please blow the stupid horn now. As what seems to be the case in many of my athletic endeavors, I was the least physically capable of our crew. One was a marine, gung-ho, regular marathon runner and a little goofy. Two brothers I had known my whole life. One had entered a weight lifting competition at our school for bench press and came in second. This is not impressive except that he had never lifted weights before. His older brother was a non-technical mountain climber. I would refer to this as a long-distance hiker, similar to what we were doing. I was known for wearing out my shoes at work because the soles were leather and the carpeting was nylon. <sigh> I had succumbed to the siren-call of most young men; "You should come with us! It's gonna be a blast and we're going to Vegas right on the back end of the hike!" Simple plans are best. Their girlfriends would drive from where we were dropped off to the other side of the rim, (about 6-8 hours away), and pick us up. We would hike all day and meet them there. They would arrive a couple hours early and probably be lightly hammered by the time we arrived, unless we were running behind, then they would be falling down drunk, but that was going to be a timing issue. Don't judge, neither of them was my girlfriend. Dawn, as you look over the edge of the rim. It's amazing. The colors are brilliant- hues of gold, fire flame oranges, bits of purple framing the vibrant trees. The trees are actually a haloed in green over the body of trembling amber. Breathtaking is not a word that does the picture justice. I guess. That's what the photos and postcards look like. I have no idea. I just saw a relatively steep and craggy trail down into a canyon with brushy little pine trees no higher than waist high every six to ten feet. It was not only unimpressive, it was dark enough that we had to use a flash to take a "Starting the hike!" picture. As the sun moved above the rim and into the canyon, the beauty did begin to show in all sorts of ways. It's not like the view from the North Side visitors view exactly. That view is the one you often see in the pictures and films as the videos are time-warped through a day and you see all of the color changes before your attention span wans. Ours had a lot of peeks at beauty. We saw canyon walls, the river and surrounding trees. We met hikers, hippies and people who were pre-vapor, non-cigarette smokers. We had to re-fill our water at the hikers' station at the base of the canyon by the river. The heat and lack of a single movement of air was a surprise. I could not believe that we were unable to generate own air movement when we were walking. It seemed that even walking fast, the air sucked up your small amount of breeze into the stagnancy. There should be more about the serene, gorgeous beauty of the canyon. God's creation of this precious and singular monument of nature should receive a stronger and more eloquent description. Go to the gift shop. They have books and videos galore. We were on a clock. We had dawn to dusk to cover with the promise of drinks and Vegas to follow. We did see the little reptile monuments occasionally, possibly 40 in all. They were quiet, no rattling, hissing or banjo-playing at all. We did not see any snakes, rodents or lizards. Only the birds were flying overhead occasionally and they did not make much noise. The sound was regular heavy breathing as we made the descent of one mile to the river or one mile up to the north rim. The 19 miles over rocky terrain gave plenty of opportunity for heavy breathing in the hot air. We drank a lot of water and Gatorade™, we peed very little and we ate protein bars for meals. The last mile was truly the worst. You can see the north face buildings as the sun is just starting to make a move towards the rim. It's not there and you are safe of hiking after dark, but you know that it is making its descent. I was in bad shape. Walk a hundred yards, stop for a break. Follow that cycle until the very end. We made it! Real food, real drink, real "not hiking," and off we went….to Vegas! The nap on the way was refreshing, but not complete. A shower, fresh clothes did not fix all of the problems of the day, but out we went any way. Problem #1 - Dehydration - I don't think that you hydrate and de-hydrate in some equal ratio. I'm not certain how it works, but it did not work correctly for me. I drank a lot of liquids, but I still seemed to suffer from dehydration all night long. Problem #2 - Alcohol is not hydration - There is a reason that they give free drinks in casinos when you are playing. It is not because they want to help your hydration. When you are dehydrated, it seems the mixer and ice go into your system at a slower rate than the alcohol. This is unfair if you are thirsty. It is more unfair if the alcohol drinks are the same price as the tap water and the drinks are served right to you and the tap water is way, way over there. Problem #3 - Gambling stupid - I am not a good gambler. I don't gamble on anything that I don't have a direct impact on. However, I was with friends and we were just having a little fun. So we started to play blackjack. You know you are so drunk and stupid that the dealer, at 3am, looks at 2 of you and when the pit boss is not looking, she tells you to stop playing. When a Las Vegas dealer tells you to stop playing cards and go home, you have hit bottom. Problem #4 - Transportation - At the end of the night, maybe 4am, two of us head back to the hotel. We decide to walk. I am telling a story with my hands to my friend and I keep stepping into the street and back up onto the sidewalk from the curb. I am a vigorous storyteller, let us leave it at that. Fortunately, my friend was more aware of our surrounding environment than my story and pulled me up onto the curb and out of the way of a bus that would have crushed me like a bug. It is my belief that Problems 1-3 above may have contributed to this, Problem #4. Would I do it again? The Las Vegas part I do every year or two, sober and I don't gamble. The Grand Canyon? I'll be glad to be a part of the postcard view from the north rim, coffee in hand and my iPhone™ for pics.