I need to clear my name up front. I have never bought sexual services from anyone, anywhere at any time. Ever. Usually this is not a disclaimer that someone has to make, but if you write a chapter titled, "What Is It About Hookers?" There is an obligation by the author to provide personal context. In all fairness, I have been in their company in Viet Nam, Thailand, Jamaica, and Chicago. It is possible that there were other locations, but the person or people did not identify themselves so clearly. This chapter is not about voluntarily entering a situation or location that would make you vulnerable. If you are a person who wants to hire one, than this is the wrong chapter for you. Finding prostitutes is very easy if you are looking for them and I have no desire to add to your interest. My strong encouragement would be to stop immediately and seek help. Seriously. Here is what I learned- If you want to be safe when you are out with friends or business entertainment and you do not want to be involved in the wrong things in the wrong place at the wrong time, it is good to have some strategies. Having been to a few of these places through circumstances over which I had no control, let me pass along what I have learned. First, I will provide the academy of my history and a bit about my faculty. Viet Nam - No, I was not involved in the conflict as a military person. I was seven or eight when the planes brought our troops home. Actually, I was there on a business trip. There was a very large party for the senior executives and after dinner and an endless amount of entertainment, a parade of Vietnamese women came down a long, "Gone with the Wind" shaped staircase to join our party. They wore evening gowns and each woman was more beautiful than the one before. The women were greeted quickly by the men from our group and brought to the tables. A woman came and sat next to me. She did not speak much English. It seemed everything I said was very funny. She put her hand on my leg very often and she kept indicating that we should go back up the stairs together. Some of the "couples" were now doing that. They paid as they went up the stairs the…I don't know what to call him, the "stairman?" He wasn't a doorman. I leaned over to a Brit a knew next to me who was talking to a beautiful woman in red and asked, "what's going on?" He said, "It costs you $50 cash to take them up use the room and the girl." Dumbfounded, I smiled, indicated I needed to go to the restroom and got out of there. This was not a gentle exit, this was a gallop. Chicago - A client invited me to dinner with one of his clients and had a limo to take us. I offered to take my own car, but he was very insistent. I got in the limo and off we went. Big steak dinner, lots of booze, stories, cigars and after almost two and a half hours, it's time to leave. I like steak, I'm good at stories, but I don't do booze anymore and definitely not cigars. I caught hell for my civility, but I can give as good as I get. The limo driver starts off and I am ready for a night of sleep. Nope. It's time for the favorite strip club. I don't want to go to a strip club. I don't like them. I don't own the limo and I cannot get out of the destination. We go in, and we are the new kids in the joint. Fresh meat. Dressed nice enough to smell like money. I got out of there three hours later. No lap dances, no drinks and all my single dollars still in my pocket. I could bore you with the stories of Jamaica, (Russian hookers there, didn't see that coming), or Thailand, (a red like district so full that you would have to clear it with a blow torch). In the end, these experiences put us close or definitely in direct proximity with prostitutes. Other places? 1. If you are at a high-end hotel bar by yourself after 9:30pm on a business trip and a pretty woman sits down next to you - "Danger, Will Robbins"
2. If you are at a bar and a woman sits down next to you and offers to buy you a drink
3. Any bar in Las Vegas and you are alone or with a friend You may think that these were strip clubs, not places of prostitution. Wrong. In each location, the offer was clear- "Let's get out of here so we can have a private show for both of us." That's clear for even the most naïve. Defense strategies 1. Don't go where they go - No matter where you are asked to go by one of them, do not go. Kitchen, private dance room, to get a drink, anywhere. Stay put.
2. Don't spend time with people who go to where prostitutes go - You cannot hang out with pigs without getting mud on you. There are a lot of men who go to strip clubs, some who hire prostitutes. Many who are into pornography. The slope is very slippery. Joining someone after work at a strip club, visiting a website, calling a number for a prostitute when you are lonely. The people who do these things are looking for others to join them to alleviate their own guilt because they feel like they have others doing the same thing. Stay away from those who are in the trouble. Stay away from them when they are inviting you into the trouble. 3. If you are tricked into being where they are, leave - I have written about the Houdini move. This means that you just have to figure out a way to extract yourself without it being seen that you have left. Having your own transportation. Viet Nam was my best, Chicago was my worst.
4. If you are trapped where they are, buy drinks, but don't drink - There are places that you will get stuck no matter what you try. The girls will come to you and ask if you want a drink. You buy two drinks, one for her and one for you. She will take two tickets to the bartender. She gets paid for how many drinks that she gets sold. Her drink doesn't have any alcohol in it, yours does and who knows what else. Buy drinks slow and NEVER drink.
5. Never forget, it's all on video - Everything is on video. Everything. Don't dance. Don't touch. Don't flirt, kiss or give a business card. It will be used against you if it can be.
6. Only pay cash - Credit cards are a way to pass along information that can be used for identity theft. When you buy a drink or an entrance, it's cash only.
7. Remember, every word is a lie told by professional liars - Hookers, dancers are liars. They tell lies to entice, befriend, get pity, whatever. None of it is true. None of it.
8. It's liars’ poker, you lie too - You lie as well. Say nothing true. Name, company, job, location. You are in the wrong place, you are with the wrong people. You are trying to get out as fast as possible with as little mud on you as possible. Would you give Satan your home address if you could avoid it?
9. Become a loser fast, no showing off - There are people in the room who want to show off and impress the hookers. Your job is to look like a bad opportunity. That means that you make it clear that you are not interested, not experienced and have no money. They will move on.
10. Don't be a buyer for anyone else - Do not buy a lap dance, a drink, a special song or whatever for a friend. You are now a target. You do not want a mark on your back. I know these things because I clearly have been through them. Dancers are hookers. Hookers are hookers. It is all part of a sick, terrible part of humanity and its perversion. This chapter is about keeping those who do not want to be sucked into that abyss prepared and with guidelines to avoid the dark, deep-end of the pool.